Cloud Boy Feedback FM

Dear Guru,

I really enjoyed reading your Adventures of the Cloud Boy. I love how the cloud appears after breakfast in the cosy atmosphere of a family kitchen. The giant butterfly is scarier than the T-Rex!

I am going to highlight a few points that will help you making your story more easily appealing to child readers.

  1. Work on character building.

Usually at the beginning of a story there is a child with a problem that needs solving. Is there anything that Claus might want/lack/need that he does not already have? For example: he might be bored, insecure, lonely, etc. The role of the cloud will be stronger in helping him overcome such a problem. If he learns something in all his trips, children will be able to identify with him more. It would also be nice to understand a little more about the cloud, how it takes him back, why it appears, what are the consequences of the trips, how it leads Claus back home.

  • Telling vs Showing.

In your story there is too much ‘telling’ and not enough ‘showing’, or dramatization. Use dialogues to make the story more lively. For example, in your first story try not describing (It was a picturesque village….; Claus’s dad was a farmer…) but rather present the setting as if you were watching the scene of a film with Claus talking to mum and dad, etc.* Also, avoid expressions like ‘To his amazement’, etc., and show how he was amazed/happy/scared  – through his actions. Claus might have done or said something that demonstrates his feelings.

When he visits the 7 continents, he probably feels very excited. Can you show this through his behaviour? He may jump around and make the cloud wobble, as an example.

  • Setting.

It would be nice to link more clearly the cloud’s visits to the different seasons at the farm. You could show how Claus is watching the leaves fall, or he could comment on the heat, etc.

  • Tension within the story.

In order to make a story more gripping, we use tension between the protagonist and an antagonist. Make sure there is enough struggle, tension in each episode. For example, the Santa episode (any connections between Santa – Claus – and Claus’s name at all?) works well because you introduce the problem with the sleigh that Claus helps solving thanks to his cloud. This sort of ‘struggle’ should be the focus of each story. In your second story, it feels a bit ‘easy’ that Claus jumps in front of a T-Rex as a T-Rex would be so terrifying that only a superhero would feel like facing it! I would not dream of doing it if I were 7. Would you?

  • Don’t rush your conclusions.

It could be a moment when Claus reflects on what he has learnt, on what he may do next time. It is also a good moment to create expectations for his next adventure. Does he only look forward to his adventures or is he slightly scared of some aspects of it? He may be scared that the cloud will not ‘save him’ on time, for example, or that it may take him somewhere he does not like. Try identifying with Claus as much as you can to dig into his emotions, both positive and negative.

Have you read The Nine Lives of Furry Purry Beancat. The Pirate Captain’s Cat (by Philip Ardagh)? The cat falls asleep and wakes up in a different place each time. It made me think about your story. There is quite a lot of action in that book, it might help you with dramatization.

I wish you all the best of luck with your story. I think it is an amazing idea, I can see a lot of promise. Keep writing!!


*I will give you an example of how to potentially dramatize a scene. This is purely a guidance, nothing to replicate as such!

From: Adventures of the cloud boy 1.

Opening scene.


“Claus lived with his mom and dad in a little village. It was a picturesque village with rolling countryside and beautiful blue skies.

Claus’s dad was a farmer and Claus loved to farm with him. He would collect fresh, green vegetables from the farm and take it to mom. Claus and mom would then cook it into a lovely stew or soup that they enjoyed eating with rice, pasta or bread. [this sort of information can sound a bit flat if not presented from the protagonist’s point of view with some more personal and exciting details attached to it]

Claus enjoyed cooking as much as he did farming. He particularly enjoyed observing the steam that would rise from the pan that mom used to cook in. His eyes followed them dance around the room and rise higher and higher until it disappeared into thin air.”



Claus loved looking out of the window of his cottage while his mother was cooking:  … [what does he see?]… the rolling countryside, his dad working the land or on his tractor, etc.

‘What’s for dinner?” asked Claus.

‘Carrot soup,’ said his mum.

‘My favourite!’ said Claus. ‘Can I help you chopping?’ (i.e. this shows that Claus likes cooking rather than saying than he likes it and it may add realism to the scene)

‘He realised the cloud might vanish through it and he would never see it again’

à ‘No, little cloud, don’t go away! Stay!’ said Claus in a panic. He was hoping he would make friends with the cloud so he would no longer feel lonely when his parents were at work.


+ Add some behaviour that shows Claus’s character. Is he affectionate? Is he shy? Is he in a good/bad mood? What does he like wearing? + It is good to alternate dialogues to descriptions in each scene.



Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness can be an elusive thing. From Aristotle in Ancient Greece, from whose term Eudiamonia, the English term “happiness” is translated, to the psychologists of today, many have pondered about the “key to happiness”. Despite the challenges inherent in such a task – the abstractness and subjectivity of the term being one of the key impediments, especially to the scientific aspect of the field – pioneering researchers specialising in the so called “science of happiness” have identified key commonalities in the mental processes that prevent people from experiencing happiness, known in the field as “mindbugs” along with some simple and practical solutions, known as “happiness hacks” which, if implemented, serve to mitigate these mindbugs. I will evaluate how effective these hacks are in counteracting the effects of mindbugs to lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Happiness: an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment

The first hack is “gratitude”. Gratidude refers to the cluster of thoughts and behaviours pertaining to a feeling of contentment with the things in an individual’s life that provide happiness, along with a feeling of value attached to those things and an understanding that they might not be present under different circumstances. Emmons and McCullough (2004) found a benefits as compared to a control group arising from the mere act of writing about positive events.  Even more powerful is to write a letter of gratitude to a friend or family member (Watkins et al., 2003). However, the practice of gratitude can often be confounded by the intuition’s mindbug. If the person misidentifies what is making them happy, practicing gratitude could cause distress and confusion due to the cognitive dissonance arising from the disparity between anticipated and actual benefit. Research into this potential drawback is lacking, but it is highly feasible that this risk could manifest itself in those practicing this method.

Another happiness hack identified by psychologists is kindness. This refers to actions arising from what is defined in social psychology as “altruism” – behaviour intended to benefit others, without the expectation of reciprocity.  Humans being predisposed towards sociality, the mere experience of giving has been found to confer happiness to the giver. For example, Otake et. Al, 2006, found that kinder people experience more frequent and intense positive episodes in life. Lyubormirsky et al (2005) had already found, clarifying the causality of the relationship in Otake’s study, that instructing participants to perform random acts of kindness reported a significant increase in subjective well being. Dunn et. Al, (2008) gave participants money and instructed them to spend it on themselves or others, noting increased happiness in those who spent it on others. This may be in part because the positive reward associated with an act of kindness is not subject to the adaptation, effectively bypassing the effects of the second main mindbug, most likely due to the nature of the positive experience. 

Adaptation occurs largely due to the downregulation of dopamine receptors in the brain after a “dopimanergic hit” associated with short-term gratification, which leads to the characteristic peak and trough of the famous “Hedonic Treadmill”. However, the positive experience associated with kindness is linked instead to the brain’s serotonin systems. Siegel and Crockett (2013) Pleasure arising from increased serotonin does not cause the same type of adaptation as dopamine,which is a more intense experience and is linked to addictive behaviour (Koob, 2006) and lower long term satisfaction. Increase in serotonin is also linked to an increase in  prosocial behaviour and delay of gratification, initiating a positive feedback loop which in turn increases the effectiveness and likelihood of implementation of the other hacks. Increased prosociality also mitigates the social reference point bias because increased prosocial effect prevents the success of others from being perceived as detrimental to the success of the perceiver.

A third tool in the individual’s arsenal of happiness hacks is “savouring”, which refers to the practice of directing one’s attention towards things that bring happiness. This intensifies the benefit of the thing itself, and perhaps counterintuitively, reduces or eliminates the adaptation effect, leading to a more lasting benefit that is not accompanied by subsequent displeasure, for example, Jose et. Al, (2012), who directed participants to focus on the moment when enjoying a stimulus.  Barash et. Al, (2018) used photography of a positive event as a means of gratitude, also found similar benefits. Another potential benefit of savouring, which has not been examined specifically in research, is that it could feasibly facilitate reflection on the thing being savoured, leading to a clearer perception of its benefits or lack thereof, potentially allowing the first mindbug to be unlearned.

Exercise is another important component of a happy lifestyle. Evidence for its role in mental health was collected by Babyak et. Al (2000), who prescribed regular exercise, antidepressants, and a combination of the two to three control groups of people with major depressive disorder.  The group with exercise alone showed remarkable benefits, with a recovery rate of near 100%, considerably exceeding the group prescribed both, which led the researchers to theorise that part of the benefit of the exercise came from a feeling of achievement and self-mastery, which was of course hampered by the feeling of having “taken the easy way out”. This implies that one of the key mechanisms by which the benefits of exercise manifest themselves is through improvement in self esteem, effectively counteracting the third mindbug of social reference points. However, it must be said that some of the momentary mood benefits, such as the experience of a warm afterglow, commonly sought after from exercise are subject to adaptation, partly due to the associated dopaminergic reward systems involved, which can lead to exercise addiction (Berczik et. Al, 2012).

Seeking connection with others is another effective solution to the mindbugs discussed here.  It is one of the few hacks that has been found to effectively mitigate the intuition mindbug. A successful career, wealth, luxury goods, true love, a perfect body, top grades. Most people overestimate the impact of these things on life happiness.  Why?  If examined closely, all of these things, bar true love, are experienced individually as opposed to socially. Therein lies the common error in intuition – being social creatures, it is primarily participation in a well-functioning group dynamic that brings long term happiness to individuals.  Seeking social connection with others not only increases happiness outright. Eply and Schroeder (2014) found that participants told to strike up conversations on the public transport showed increased scores on the standardised positivity index as compared to the other control groups, even though they would never see those people again. Furthermore, connection to others directs one’s attention to the social setting as an area for the pursuit of happiness, counteracting the first mindbug. This is in part due to the surprisingly social nature of perception and motivation. An individual is deliberately encouraged and directed towards worthwhile activities by other group members, outsourcing the problem of task setting.

Connection with others is increased implementability and effectiveness of the hacks mentioned so far.  It is far easier to perform acts of kindness when connected with others, as demonstrated before in the increased benefit of writing a gratitude letter as opposed to solitary expression. Park et. Al (2017) found evidence that people showed an increased happiness boost after performing acts of kindness, specifically when they felt connected to others. Exercise is more beneficial when done socially and is more likely to continue in the long term (Nielsen et. Al, 2014).

Sleep is a key biological necessity, so it is unsurprising that getting enough of it is vital to the experience of happiness. In addition to physical health risks and directly reduced measures of happiness (Dement, Vaughan, 1999), insufficient or inconsistent sleep patterns have also been linked to addictive behaviour due to downregulation of dopamine receptors and borderline personality disorder, which is characterised by excessive focus on oneself image in a social context, especially the perception of others, which is likely to exacerbate the third mindbug.  Tamm (2019) provided evidence of this link by demonstrating that people with poor sleep are shunned and avoided by others, constituting a subtle form of ostracism, which has been shown to cause a plethora of mental and physical health risks.  In addition, they exhibited trouble regulating emotional responses, which is a characteristic feature of BPD. Simon and Walker (2018) found that the reverse is also true. People with sleep deprivation were found to desire reduced social connection to others, including increased desire for personal space and social separation, both in real life and in a computer simulation, making it unlikely that this could be a result of responding to others’ avoidance of the sleep deprived individual.

Initially developed by the Zen Buddhists, meditation, our final hack, is the ancient practice of clearing one’s mind of clutter, detaching oneself from the emotions of the present and paying attention to what truly matters in life.  It has been shown in a plethora of studies to provide a lasting experience of happiness, such as Fredrickson et. Al, (2008), whose results pertained to kindness meditation, which has been linked in other studies to increased oxytocin.  Furthermore, this benefit of meditation is not subject to hedonic adaptation. This is presumably due to the nature of the involved neurochemistry: increase in serotonin levels, along with influencing a plethora of other neurotransmitters in the brain (Crissa et. Al, 2013) and even permanent alteration of brain structure.

One might deduce from the brief outline of meditation above that the hack might mitigate the intuition bug through facilitating reflection on what’s truly important.  Mindfulness meditation specifically has been shown to yield especially powerful benefits in this area.  Somewhat less intuitively, due to its solitary nature, there is also evidence that the regular practice of meditation increases prosociality, even in the absence of ethics-based instructions (Berry, Hoer, Cesko (2020) likely again due to increased serotonin, along with effects which in turn appears to reduce distress caused by comparison of oneself to others.  This is linked to the experience of “connection to the rest of the world” that regular meditators report – or even the blurring of the mental distinction between “self” and “rest of world”.  Interestingly, a strong dissociation between the two concepts has been linked to narcissistic personality traits, such as excessive distress at being beaten or outperformed in a social setting. However, there is a small line of research that directly opposes this claim.  Stefan et. Al (2019) found a negative impact on prosocial behaviour in participants directed to practice mindfulness meditation specifically, theorising that this may result from the disconnection from the emotions of the present that is sought after in mindfulness meditation, leading to lower susceptibility to the needs of others.

To conclude, all seven hacks have been found to have varying positive impacts on happiness in those practicing them. Meditation and seeking connection with others have proven themselves the only two hacks effective in mitigating the intuition mindbug. The adaptation bug successfully avoided most of the hacks except for seeking connection with others. Finally, the problem of social reference points was reduced by gratitude, kindness, connection, meditation and potentially sleep, although sometimes exacerbated by seeking connection with others.

Considering the range of evidence discussed, I would recommend all of these hacks for use in everyday life, as they all show varying degrees of benefit. They are also best used in conjunction, as they often facilitate and enhance the benefits of one another. However, even if implemented effectively, these hacks provide no guarantee of happiness. Although a significant variance in happiness is accounted for by intentional behaviour (40%), even more influential is genetics, accounting for 50% of individual variability in happiness. (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon & Schkade, 2005). I must therefore conclude that the hacks, although worthwhile, are only moderately effective. Furthermore, the gratitude and meditation hacks may involve some minor risks, although more research is necessary to verify this.

Education in Finland – a fantastic result, but how do we get there?


I like the fact that they dedicate many of their most competent people to educating even young children, but if you raised the bar that high in the UK, I think you’d just get a shortage of teachers because our culture simply doesn’t place the same level of status on the role of teacher as theirs does. I also like that they put the teachers in a more active role in the curriculum, but then again, maybe the reason why they can do that is that they have such competent teachers.

There are many things I like about their model of teaching, but I’m not sure to what extent the success of their education system is due to the model itself or other factors, such as the functioning of the economy or the cultural factors. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve laid the necessary groundwork to adopt all of the educational policies we admire in the Scandinavian systems, which may work excellently when all the children in the class have a cultural respect for authority, highly supportive parents and grow up in a safe environment.

Another perspective on this is that there may not be one single template that works for all countries and cultures. Unlike in Scandinavia, the private school system in the UK is a significant part of our culture, not to mention the fact that it’s a magnet for rich foreigners, who love to send their children to English private schools. I don’t think this is in any way opposed to the vital and exciting prospect of providing a consistently excellent system for the majority of children and teenagers in the UK receiving state education – which included me.

We would be wise to take inspiration from such an excellent school system, but key to improving our system is not to copy them mindlessly. Improvements to the education system must and will occur organically, according to our own ideals, and in the context of wider improvement in the functioning of our society at large.

A lockdown letter from the US


The United States biggest problem in my opinion is that very few of us see us as a community.

We are consumed with “personal liberty” rather than a shared sense of responsibility to our fellow Americans.  The individual is regarded as more important than any group.  America is so darn big – Texans don’t feel connected to New Yorkers, Californians don’t feel akin to Iowans, etc.  So it would be helpful to have a leader or a party that sought to unite us all — this is a huge challenge.

I tried to explain to a fellow Christian that it would have been so much more Godly to have our ministers pleading with their congregants to stay home and worship instead of insisting on having crowded church services.  That way we don’t spread the virus to our neighbors who don’t go to the same church … it would have been a way to demonstrate a way to “Love your neighbor” instead of whining about how the government was taking away our right to worship.  It would only be for a season — Insisting on OUR right to worship is indicative of the “us vs them” mentality.

What can I do about it?  What can we do about it?

Higher education needs to be affordable – something close to free — Not loans but grants, and low tuition.  A better educated electorate would be a more well informed electorate.  Pour more money into better education from K to college.

Work at getting Americans to adopt MANDATORY VOTING – Australians pay a fine if they don’t vote – their voter turnout is nearly 98% – American turnout for a presidential election is roughly 55 – 60%

Make voting days paid holidays – expand the ways Americans can vote – whether by mail or in person but make it much more accessible and less likely to cause financial hardship.

Re-enact the Fairness Doctrine so everybody who watches or listens to political commentary hears an opposing view – reduce the echo chamber effect.

Maybe have near universal military conscription – every able bodied high school graduate would serve 2 years – and have all the conscripts mingle throughout the USA – a way for Californians to get to know Texans and Iowans and New Yorkers – a way to expand their cultural and ethnic boundaries.  I realize this would be a very very tough sell … and maybe not work as well as I think it might.  Put the conscripts to work on public projects like parks, environmental cleanup, disaster relief etc.

And we need to educate people that the forms of socialism we need to help each other is NOT a slippery slope to communism.  Higher taxes mean a better standard of living for everyone — a more healthy environment – healthier people – better services for each of us and all of us.

Educate educate educate educate —

Corona Days


The year 2020, like 1066 and 1914, will be forever remembered for one thing only. If I survive till 2021 I’ll note it in my diary as a year of horrors; neither I nor my family have yet got Covid but there have been various disasters in my circle and some of my friends have died. But, as someone said to Wilfred Owen when he was returning to the front, at least your experiences should be good for your poetry! Literally thousands of poems have been and are being written about the plague and the lockdown. CORONAVERSES, edited by Janine Booth and published by Roundhead Publications, is an anthology by forty-three poets which came out as early as April. And WRITE WHERE WE ARE NOW, the creation of Carol Ann Duffy and Manchester Metropolitan University, is an online anthology which includes some marvellous work. Shoestring Press will be bringing out its own anthology, LOCKDOWN AND AFTER, next spring, and I’m currently reading poems for that. The one which follows is one which I wrote in March, just before the lockdown, inspired by a walk along Oxford Canal where we are not now encouraged to go:


Corona days, trudging along the silent towpath

by the canal, wishing that it was the sea,

each day I hear, singing along the airwaves,

fresh news of death, divorce, disability.

How distant now the days when I was battling

three months ago, to set the world to rights.

Now, every trivial move must be considered.

I gasp for sea air. I envy the red kites

who wheel above us, back from near-extinction,

enraptured, each day feasting on roadkill.

Celandines, crowsfoot fringe the path where few now

step out, spring colours, radiant and cruel.